Travis, Newly single | Ford Escort Owners Association (FEOA)

Travis, Newly single

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Akagis_white_comet, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Akagis_white_comet

    Akagis_white_comet FEOA Member

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    So I'm Travis and the past 4 days have been downright crazy. Robin, my now ex-fiancee, moved out on June 9th and has been trying to start shit and get back on my good side (in alternating order). Somewhere along the way, she gets all 4 of our cats as I wasn't in the best frame of mind to care for them properly. I do so willingly, their welfare is first and foremost on my mind.

    Why'd this happen? She cheated on me and lies straight to my face about it.

    I hear about it from my car buddy across the street. Public sexual display with the neighbors, pictures and video taken. Several neighbors corroborate the story. Pornhub stuff basically.

    After pulling the whole heartstrings act, things are civil while I weigh what I heard from several neighbors. Next day, I listen to my gut feeling, and pitch a bunch of her stuff out the door. Shatters right there.

    Hours later, she's back to try and get back on my good side, wanting a week to clear her head. Okay, whatever, 2 seizures/hospital visits in a day for her. That was 2 days ago (June 11th)

    Yesterday, shes on her way to a doctors appointment (neurologist, for seizures) and the car shes in (belongs to neighbor who shes staying with at the moment) breaks down around 3pm. LOTS of calls later, BEGGING me to bring HER car to her "because she doesn't want to be sitting here waiting" after straight-faced LYING to me about what happened at the neighbors house. I listen to my gut, tell her to call a tow truck and ride in it. She keeps begging more and more with the same tired line "I'm just asking this one favor as a friend" no matter what I say. Keep in mind that she chose to lend me her car so I could take care of work while fixing my Expedition. It was her idea, so it's sitting out front and the only set of keys for it hanging on the keyrack here.

    Now it's a battle of wills, the Irresistible Force vs the Immovable Object.

    She calls every hour, with more made up BS, claiming a new excuse that the tow truck is delayed, spouting random timeframes that ZERO people would believe (especially anyone on a car forum lol) and the same load of crap "as a friend" line from above. No deal.

    It's now 5:30pm, she's been stuck there for two hours. I'm busy working on a house project by taking apart a dying projection TV to make its base more useful for other stuff. She leaves a voicemail. This is downright bonkers, see for yourselves...



    Not sure if I call her back or wait till she calls again, but I tell her in no uncertain words. No deal, period. She needs professional help.

    Roughly every 30-60 minutes, she calls and begs more, refusing to acknowledge her threat. By 7pm, she's sobbing and apologizing because she knows I'm not budging. I tell her she needs professional psychiatric help, she knee-jerks away and the conversation ends. Repeat at 8pm, same deal. Now her phone is completely dead from playing Candy Crush and she's had a seizure which the person shes with said "that you caused" in the background to me.

    9pm she calls on his phone (because she burned through her battery) and I lay down the situation. My words were: You get professional psychiatric help first thing in the morning or you sit there. This is not open to debate. She caves, so I go 'rescue' her in her own car (that I put my own money and labor into fixing!).

    This morning when I wake up, I remind her that she is to check into Coleman Professional Services for assessment. Look down the street, her 97 Escort is gone. Multiple Doctors ORDERED her, no driving period since last week. I call the landlord, inform her that Robin is a danger to herself now (shes has two seizures while driving), she keeps an eye out for her. Police are notified, they can't do anything (no 'smoking gun') and I call her grandmother in WV to let her know too. There was some talk about her going to see her family in WV today, thought it best to try and give them some heads up on it).

    Where she was: trading in the Escort (that I put my own money, parts and labor into fixing!). and BUYING a NEW car...Red 2016 Camry that she couldn't finance (shes on disability), so the neighbor from last night co-signs for her. She gets $750/month from Disability, the payments are EASILY $300/month and she has a super shiny Verizon phone bill ($100/month if not more). Bought season passes for me & her to Cedar Point (the platinum ones...) for my birthday and has to pay her attorney (divorce, kids too) $300/month on top.

    Meanwhile, I found out the full details of what happened on the night in question above. Soon as I was out of sight, she stripped naked and starts playing with herself in the neighbors backyard. 5 dudes watching her, on her period (blood stain still there, picture taken of it...). She gets one fingering her and another playing with her boobs. This happens not once, but twice WHILE WEARING MY ENGAGEMENT RING!!! There are pictures AND video of it too...

    I hear the whole story and the co-signer calls one of the guys telling the story. I overhear about her shiny new toy and keep my mouth shut. Excused myself and go back home

    So I'm working on my Expedition to fix some failing ignition/starter wiring, my hands are dirty and I'm underneath. She pulls up behind it, hops out and says:
    Robin: Like my new wheels?
    Me: So what? Its a car

    She's unglued now. I didn't react how she WANTED, because I give zero f**ks about shiny appliances. Asks if I got the mail, she demands hers. Remember, she already moved out 4 days ago on June 9th and the lease was transferred to me exclusively 2 days ago. Same with all of the bills. I tell her that she needs to give me the title to the house (mobile home) because it's mine as well. She refuses. Battle of wills again. She calls the police, I try to make peace by asking what REALLY happened, so she can confess cheating on me. Complete denial.

    Now she tries FORCING her way into MY house. "I have the keys, I can do it if I want". I'm blocking the door, and I tell her she can either leave willingly or be arrested for trespassing. I have home court advantage, she has self-inflicted delusions of goddess-hood. Checkmate.

    Police arrive, they're already sick of this stupidity. Soon as they get here, I tell them to remove her because she is Trespassing. They tell me to give her her mail. Okay, I do so and firmly demand the title AND her keys because she moved out and I'm the only one on the lease. They agree, and she has one last chance to get any of her remaining stuff. I have no objection, so 60 seconds and that's all. She gets her old wedding dress, swimsuit and other miscellaneous things. I get the title, her set of keys and she's escorted out by the police.

    My neighbor Charles (awesome car guy, BTW) sees all of it gives me a pat on the back and we have a laugh. Currently taking bets on when her new toy gets repo'ed and she gets thrown out on the street for ruining co-signer's credit. My money is on 6 months.

    Oh, and the little escape artist kitty Luna comes running down from where Robin has been. Runs right up to me, almost JUMPS into my arms and gives me a big hug. Luna knows who loves her and where home is. She's asleep in her favorite kitchen chair right now with a full tummy and a fresh litterbox (thank you Charles!!!). Divine Justice :)

    All of the neighbors minus co-signer are backing me 110% because I was straight with them. No anger or stupidness, just honesty. My buddy in California, whom introduced Robin and I, is backing me 1000% and said I did what he would have done at every step. No regrets.

    There's more to come on this. After all, she's STILL using my last name on facebook and saying she's engaged...

    Hint: my last name is the most well-known forest in England. Think "Robin Hood"
    focus2000 likes this.
  2. denisond3

    denisond3 Moderator Staff Member

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    Sorry to read about your situation, and maybe you needed to get the story out - but we should avoid discussing politics, religion, or sex here (or domestic problems), and stick with the problems our automobiles have; problems which are are comparatively simple and fixable.
  3. Akagis_white_comet

    Akagis_white_comet FEOA Member

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    Yes, I did need to get the problem out into the open. Chances are that you've encountered someone with suicidal and self-harming behavior before. And for those that have, you probably understand how powerless you feel when you're unable to do anything to get them help when they can't and won't do it themselves.

    Please let me be clear that this post is NOT to shame her or anyone with mental health issues/crises. Psychological health is something I take VERY seriously. I've been through it myself (over an ex too, made me a total wreck) and the only person that cared enough to talk to me on a level playing field was my aunt. That was 4-5 years ago, we've gotten close and can talk about anything under the sun with no fear of judgment.

    Police won't do anything without a 'smoking gun' and they're sick of coming out here already. I've never been in this kind of situation before and she is adamant about being perfectly fine when her actions show that she is anything but okay. This scares me, because I'm afraid of her turning suicidal by not getting her way, which means that she becomes a threat to herself and others either way. I'm running out of ideas quickly. If anyone has ever been in a situation like this, how did you handle it and get the person in question the help they need?
  4. focus2000

    focus2000 FEOA Member

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    Very good story some thoughts, the 2016 camry is a turd so I wouldn't be excited either. Also and this is very important advice "if its got tits or wheels, its gonna give you problems"
  5. Akagis_white_comet

    Akagis_white_comet FEOA Member

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    Turns out it's a 2016 Corolla, still an equally disposable appliance in my mind.
    "A new car won't get you there any faster, safer or cheaper. Just Shinier, for now."
    -my dad

    As far as her 'performance' is concerned, reasonable doubt exists based on the lack of concrete evidence. So I've reevaluated my position on that and put it in the hearsay category until further notice. The complete story will come to light when the time is right, once she gets help for what's going on.

    "People won't change unless they WANT to change, or unless they NEED to change to survive."
    -my mom

    As much as I'd like to laugh about all of this, mental health matters are the one thing I don't laugh about. One of my closest friends has high-functioning Autism and Schizo-effective disorder and he's one of the most easygoing cool guys you'd ever talk to. He's also a genius too.

    Another good friend of mine was having lots of issues in her life. Being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder was a big "aha" moment for her. At one point, she snapped at me and stopped talking to me. When she apologized a year or so later, no hard feelings and I welcomed her back.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't like holding grudges, especially for someone's actions that can be reasonably consequential of a mental illness in the process of being treated. However, willful actions are another story and I'm quite good at discerning the difference.
    denisond3 likes this.

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