Project Ghetto Beater. NOW WITH PICTURES!!! | Ford Escort Owners Association (FEOA)
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Project Ghetto Beater. NOW WITH PICTURES!!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by zx24me, Jun 5, 2007.

?

A build up like this?

Poll closed Sep 3, 2007.
  1. I can hardy wait?

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  2. Another project?

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  1. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    As you all may guess I like to take on projects once in a while.

    And everyone here knows, once you get hold of an Escort and
    make one little change or mod, it becomes addictive.
    Now many of us are Finacially Challenged, some of us just wait
    for a sale on anything, some even scour the junk yards and body
    shop discard piles.
    Some of us are just Tight @sses. Buck Horders. Peeny Pinchers.

    Now a project that covers all our common ground.

    Exhibit A:(possibly still stuck in Photo Gallery!)
    [​IMG]

    The $500-$800 Special. (Rims May Vary).

    Now someone got the car all apart, thru some nice wheels on
    it and then ran out of steam. Parents nagging, neighbors complaining,
    friends snickering. "Screw it! I'm buying a Honda!"

    So we are the proud new owners.

    What do we do with this? E-Bleigh a bunch of body part$ we have to
    $pend hour$ and hour$ modifying? $end it to a Body $hop? $crounge
    up part$ in the $alvage Yard$?

    No no Grasshopper! We open our eyes and look around. Free parts
    are where you find them.

    (Continued next issue).
  2. joshuh

    joshuh Guest

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    Someone's poll-happy today :D
  3. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    My wife is always happy too see my......

    Never mind.
  4. pos_clunker

    pos_clunker Guest

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    Buy the cheapest running beater you can find and finishing putting it out of its misery (don't even change the oil in it... you'll get your money's worth that way). When the transmission drops clean out of the vehicle, claim victory. Rinse and repeat as necessary.
  5. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Part II.

    So I went looking for some parts to make this car drivable on the street.
    I could have gone to a $alvage Yard and found all the body part$,
    but where's the inovation in that?
    Instead I went looking in my parts pile.

    HEADLIGHTS:
    The left headlight bucket was a left over from a 64 Chevelle. A little
    cutting to make tabs, a few sheet metal screws, a little wire splicing
    and a trip to the parts store and I had one light.
    The right one was one I found at an accident. I think it's off of a old
    4 square-eyed Oldsmobile. Stopped in the street, reached out and
    it was mine! Free parts are good! More cutting, screwing and splicing
    and "HEY!", I didn't even need to go buy a new bulb!

    PARKING/TURN LIGHTS:
    The Park people should never park their tractor next to my house at
    lunch time!

    TAIL LIGHTS:
    I just knew those Yard Sale $5 trailer tail lights would come in handy!
    More splicing and drilling. Hmmmm. Running a little low on black
    electrician's tape. Oh well. Got TONS of duct tape!

    FRONT BUMPER:
    Someone went and knocked down a section of saftey rail on a dead end.
    The city will throw it away anyhow, so I'll take a big chunk and cut it down
    to size. A trip to the hardware store for some stove bolts and washers,
    ($3.25. I got the GOOD stuff!), and it bolts right up.

    DRIVER RESTRAINT SYSTEM:
    Where did these old belts come from? Says FORD on them, so I'll use 'em.

    SEATING:
    Back seat was there so that is that. A cinder block for a front seat?
    That didn't seem comfortable. So for now I grabbed some old wood
    out of the shed and built my own. Some plumbing strap to bolt it to
    the door pillar, a seat section from an old Keep Out sign and more
    plumbing strap to tie it all to the floor. I'll start looking for a passenger
    seat later. For now it's a 3 seater.

    SIDE IMPACT PROTECTION:
    Don't want to fall out or get hit by flying rocks. So I went shopping
    along the Interstate. Put on a orange vest and you can walk from
    one exit to another picking up whatever you find and want. The
    cops won't bug you and some people honk and give you the thumbs up.
    If they only knew!
    An old piece of aluminum here, (4 foot x 9 inches and painted blue),
    a crome looking ladder off of an RV or camper, a short (3 foot) length
    of chain with a screw-in hook on one end and a swivel-snap on the other
    and a 8 foot section of new green garden hose.
    Coming back up the other side I found an old STOP sign, a $5 bill,
    a piece of 1/4 inch thick plastic shaped lik an odd triangle and
    a purple tailgate net.
    The aluminum matches the paint on the car right down to the fading!
    So it becomes a side panel to keep things from falling out of my pocket
    onto the road. (Wonder who left this box of big sheetmetal screws on
    this rafter in the basement?). The plastic becomes the top panel to my
    'door' and the chain and another screw-in ring becomes my security.
    Engine looks awful vunerable out there so an old hinge and some pop-
    rivets make a mini-hood. A old bungee cord holds it down in back.

    An old can of spray paint from some project gets the plastic side
    panel to close to matching, the garden hose gets split and put on the 'door'
    edge to keep anyone from getting cut and the tailgate net
    is a passenger door now. How do you keep the kid from climbing
    out the rear 1/4 windows? Cut up the ladder, hole saw some holes
    in the top of the window sill and bottom of the roof rail and put screws
    in to hold it up.
    So Im $26.27 into parts, got my exercise finding parts, and got some
    crap out of the shed and basement. Trash day is in 2 days and I just
    KNOW I'll find some neat stuff then. And I recouped $5 walking the ditch!
    The head rest? My kid will never miss his old bike seat seeing as
    the wife bought him a new one.

    The results are "Exhibit B".

    [​IMG]

    (TO BE CONTINUED)
  6. JDP

    JDP Guest

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    So, it's going to be a rat-rod, but without the rod? ;)
  7. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Maybe it should be Project Skin-Flint?
  8. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    More like "Cheapo McDuff meets Mad Max".
  9. zzyzzx

    zzyzzx FEOA Member

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    Location:
    Baltimore, MD USA
    FRONT BUMPER:
    Someone went and knocked down a section of saftey rail on a dead end.
    The city will throw it away anyhow, so I'll take a big chunk and cut it down
    to size. A trip to the hardware store for some stove bolts and washers,
    ($3.25. I got the GOOD stuff!), and it bolts right up.


    And it's much better than the bumper that came with the car.
  10. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Yes it is.
    If only I could find some of those Chevy Vega Front bumper
    leaf springs it would even act as a "5 Mile An Hour" damage
    prevention bumper.
  11. major

    major New Member

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    Location:
    Knoxville, Tenn
    Somethings wrong with this car and I finally figur'd it out... that rearview mirror on the windshield should have fallen off years ago.. better check it out with a carfax.
    [​IMG]
  12. 4doorscort

    4doorscort New Member

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    Location:
    Brampton ON
    BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
  13. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Ah yes, I'll do that Major.
    As you all can see Project Ghetto Beater is coming along nicely.
    I took it out for it's maiden cruise and wouldn't you know,
    one of Levenwarts Finest pulled me over!
    He did not ask for a license or anything. He just walked around
    the car 2 or 3 times, stopping to inspect some things closer.
    Finally he walked up and said "I'm down to two ticket books,
    so I'm letting you off this time."
    He then gave me several suggested improvements. Thanks!
    I also found out this car breeds courtesy.
    I would stop at a red light with the right turn signal on and people
    with the green light would stop and wave me out! How nice.
    The only real problem was on the highway.
    Seems the bungee cord on the 'hood' came loose and the hood
    flipped forward almost vertical. The guy in front of me looked in the
    mirror and slammed on his brakes! What got into him???

    I found a roll of expanded metal screen and an old Peterbuilt Mud flap
    during my "Ditch Patrol". And someone threw away a snow blade
    for a garden tractor. Looks good to me!
    So I put the flap to good use, and used some scrap steel strap and
    an old rubber matt to build 4 mud flaps (per Officer Dewnutin's
    suggestion), and mounted the snow blade. Aero dynamics are
    important to good mileage!
    And seeing as my bike has a flat tire, I just 'borrowed' the mirror
    for the driver's side, (another suggestion from my officer friend Kant).

    Then I found the rust! RUST? On a nice car like this? Gotta fix that!
    A can of 99 cent primer, some time with a wire brush in the cordless drill,
    and shaking the He11 out of my old spray can of blue paint fixxed that!

    I layed the expanded metal screen on the roof to roll it out and fix
    the kinks in it and got another idea. Seeing as the A/C doesn't cool
    the car well, I'd ad some ventilatation. The A/C works fine, it just
    doesn't DO much.
    So the Dremel tool and cut off wheels came out, (Thanks Sis and
    Merry Feast Of The Pig!), and with some cutting, rolling of edges
    and pop rivets and more sheet metal (from the 'old' roof), I don't
    have a sun roof. I have a Whole Sky Roof! And it's SCREENED!
    Cool, huh?
    Now that I got the old girl looking this good, I'll work on security next time.
    See ya then.

    EXHIBIT C:

    [​IMG]

    Rj Da Mad Modder.
  14. pos_clunker

    pos_clunker Guest

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    Looks just fine to me.
  15. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Car fax reports the stock mirror fell off right on schedule and was
    replaced with the rare Fordza ProScort 323 mirror. And yes, the
    little mount is still on the windshield, so I can run 2 mirrors and
    see twice as good out back!!!
  16. pos_clunker

    pos_clunker Guest

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    Is that yarn replacing the seat belts? Nice! I bet that shaved at least a millionth of a second off the 1/4th, maybe two if the yarn is frayed enough to be missing most of its twines.
  17. joshuh

    joshuh Guest

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    Do it Doug! (to quote Mallrats).. and yes I'm drunk haha.
  18. MATT91GT

    MATT91GT FEOA Member

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    omg this is the funniest thing i have ever read. that is awesome. you should totally do this fo real.
  19. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    No POS that is a real Ford seat belt. Out of what I don't
    know, but it's real. Real frayed and faded, real old and
    dirty, but real.
    I called the drag strip and e-mailed them pictures to see if
    it was legal to run. They told me they didn't have a sun dial
    to time it with tho. Darn the luck!
    And yes, I want to totally do this for real.

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

    My ZX2 is almost there already.
    OH!
    And the bank has this "Riddle" game going where they post a riddle on
    a board by the tellers. If you guess the answer, you get a prize.

    "What is so fragile you break it just by saying it's name?" was the
    riddle.

    "Silence" was my answer so I now have 2 matching green stadium
    cushions for my seat. MUCH more comfy!
  20. zx24me

    zx24me Guest

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    Project Ghetto Beater is shaping up nicely.
    Thanks Major.

    Exhibits A thru D are on display in the Photo Gallery.

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