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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
well, im in college and its pretty cool i guess but ive had some trouble, mainly with my friends. they seem to have changed yunno. My friend sean, who ive known since 5th grade is a different person than before college, it seems like all he wants to do is smoke pot, and get drunk and screw random girls. ive been distancing myself away from him, but its harder because he lives right next door to me. i dont know what to do i think he knows somethings up because i dont really talk to him much or tell him where im gonna hang out and stuff. its really bad. so i dont know im sorta at a cross roads, what should i do? should i just let this go to shit and not talk to him anymore, or should i tell him whats up, and see what he says about it. I think what really annoys me is he changes for the people he is around, like he will think jokes i say are funny when its just him and me but when we are hanging out with other people he calls me a dumbass and stuff. half of me wants to tell him to fuck off, but the other half says no.
 

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I'm nearly 50 years old and I'll tell you like I tell my own son. Do what you know is right and don't worry about what others think about you. You really don't owe your friend any explanation, but you might want to talk to him about what is bothering you if you want to try to keep the friendship alive. If you're not satisfied with his further actions at least he'll know why you're not associating with him. In my opinion anyone who acts differently depending on the crowd they are with is not very self confident or very mature.
 

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It sounds like you're on the right track, and this guy isn't. I did my share of partying in college, but it was never so much that it caused my grades to worsen or never so much that it took over my life (as in this guy's case). What I'm saying is, there are limits.

I've had friends that I've distanced myself from for various reasons (not just because of drug problems and the like). I think you are right in doing what you're doing. You don't necessarily have to directly get into it with him if you don't want. Conflict isn't really necessary because it seems this guy probably wouldn't change himself anyway. You may not even want to change him. Eventually he probably will get the idea. If he comes to you about it, then you can directly address it. Until then, it doesn't seem like it will do a whole lot of good.
 

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For what it's worth, I agree with the other posts. I am 45, and I do have things that I wish I had done differently. Stay true to your integrity, don't do things that you feel are wrong. Everyone matures differently, sometimes it takes making mistakes to get it right. In time your friend migt come around, or not, just be there if he does. It does sound like you are on the right track. Everyone makes different choices, which is part of growing up, as long as they aren't hurting anyone.
 

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+1. If my friend started smoking pot, getting drunk all the time, and then acted like I was an idiot only when around his "friends" I would ditch him.
 

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Like everyone else said, I would just leave it alone and let him come around to you if he decides to. I had a good friend since elementary school and once we hit highschool he got into smoking pot all the time and making bad choices. I tried talking to him and getting him on the right track again but i couldn't change him so we went our seperate ways. Im sure you can make some friends who arent making bad decisions. just don't change your ways to fit in with the "crowd" like your friend sean did.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thanks guys, ive been doing some thinking and after reading some posts, its basically what im gonna do. i did help him once in highschool when he started to get off track, i ended up telling his parents and that ended that but i guess it was a temporary solution. i cant act like his mom, and i have a strong feeling if i told him that hes got problems he'd tell me to go fuck myself. im just gonna distance myself and find new friends..which isnt that hard haha
 

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a big +1 to all these guys. I'm only 23, but I've been there with buddies and you are on the right track. Stand up for what you believe in and do what you know in your heart is right. Just the fact you can recognize that this is happening and don't just go along with it shows you have a good head. Don't waste it all on school. haha good luck man.
-Justin
 

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yeah I didn't read all responses but my input is I lost 3/4 of my friends after high school, they pushed the down button the elevator and I pushed up, it happens, just keep going up.

I'm 21, I have had ONE sip of beer just a few weeks ago finally, and now I decided I have a better drug! my ESCORT GT! I work on it all the time and have lots to show for my "drug" so find your "drug" cars obviously, and stick with that! and I have God above to thank for where I'm at today, with out the big Man above I'd be nobody I'll tell you that right now.

keep your eyes forward and laugh at your "friend" he's only hurting himself man. nothing you can do about him you can try and give him advice but chances are he won't listen :( it's no fun. you'll find new better friends eventually! could be right away, or a year later, it's worth the wait for a true friend!

and sounds like you're already gonna forget him and find new friends so you've got it (helps to read ha ha!)
 

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I have a friend who is like that.
He has a good job and his parents are well off. So he's always had everything given to him. He totally changes for every group of people he is with and he is a pathalogical liar. He tells me one thing, then I find out he told another one of his buddies something totally opposite. I just avoid him at all costs.
 

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I'm 54 and like some of the others, I've been there. I used my GI Bill to get my undergrad degree and went on to get 2 masters.
As we use to say in the Marines, hold the high ground. Maybe talking to him and being an example you can raise him up. Never compromise your integrity just to be popular. I can't think of an acquaintance I've lost this way that I regretted.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
in the past couple days most of my mutual friends with said friend is realizing the same thing i have been, so i think hes doin some soul searchin right now, but ive been great, i have met a lot of cool people, one kid i met is pretty good with car audio and thats good because i am reatarded in that area!
 
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