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Ok, so I admit that that line does come from an ad campaign. And, sure, we Canucks now have our own section on the forum to talk about ourselves. But someone needed to post a topic on that most Canadian of subjects - COLD!

Yes, it´s winter in Ottawa. Today it´s a high of -19C with -38 windchill and I jjust ttthought I´dd shshshare some thoughts on what NOT to do with your Escort here at this time of year:

1) Wash it. For those of you just visiting, don´t join the line up at the car wash. You know that yellow, blue, and red soap the fancy car washes now have? It looks really dumb frozen across your windshield. No, Canadian car washes don´t heat their water. And no, the big blower thing at the end is not strong enough remove the 30 lbs of ice you just spent the last 3 minutes adding to your car. I speak from experience.

2) Lock it. Even when it´s warm enough for the snow to melt down your driver´s door, that snow just re-forms in the evening in the exact shape of an Escort door lock. You will bend your key trying to get your date home. She, meanwhile, will be eyeing the guy in the Saab, which is at least designed in a country that knows that white stuff sometimes falls from the sky.

3) Touch it. By grabbing the offending handle with both bare hands, you may think you're impressing your date with your efforts. But she's less impressed, I've found, when you peel your fingers back off the damn thing and hop up and down sucking on them making little whimpering sounds.

4) Shift gears: I had the awkward experience of reaching for second with a damp hand, freezing my right arm to my B&M billet aluminum shift knob. It's hard to explain to the people at the bus stop that you missed the shift because you did the driver's equivalent to licking a flagpole in January.

5) Turn corners: Ice tires make ice feel like asphalt but also make asphalt feel like ice. From November through April, forget about carving to the perfect apex on clear on-ramps; you'll howl your way through three years worth of tread before you reach the speed limit.

6) Accelerate (see Turn Corners)

7) Brake (see Accelerate)

What CAN you do in a modified Escort in winter? Wait for spring.

Hold on, what's this in my Motorsports Club of Ottawa newletter about ice racing? Hmmmm....

- R-R-R-Rob
 

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nicely done rob.. canada rocks.. but i see soo many honda´s driving around with the same beads of water stuck all over tham from the week before.. (TRUE STORY!) its hard driving on ice.. especially without ice tires (not the cause of my accident.. i assure you) but great tip for those in icy weather
 

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LOL Rob, you make winter in Canada sound like so much fun!

I´ll take the 2 months or so of "winter" we usually get here in Pennsylvania. Seldom snows, nice, sunny days. This has been the most wintry one lately, and it´s cramping my style, but nothing like what you Canadian peeps have to deal with!
:p
 

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rob, that brought tears to my eyes...which quickly froze and now i can´t see what i´m typing. good thing i don´t look at the keyboard when i type anyways :)

and -38 windchill is nothin. we´re hittin -42C windchill tomorrow! :p
it´s to freakin cold either way! yay for block and interior heaters!
 

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LMAO. it would really piss you off to know we got some rain so we had a cool 68F today!!! We had about 4" of rain last year.

God I love AZ! :)

however some of those are true for the other reason. all metal objects in summer will burn the shit out of you. its funny to watch people steer with their finger tips...lurch when they accidentally touched the arm rest. Or my personal FAV... brand yourself with the seat belt buckle!
 

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Oi. Yes winter has finally hit us here in Calgary. Thankfully I should have insurance back on the Mibzcort by Monday. No more cold walks to the train station, no more cold walks to the bus stop.... Course the car hasn´t been seriously driven in close to a year now and needs a new battery.....

Ah well.
 

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:) Thank you Rob - the best laugh I´ve had all day! I moan when the temp drops below 65 degrees - what a whimp I am, you put me to shame!!! ;-)
 
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